💔Overcoming Rejection💔

So… you didn’t get the gig you applied for. The one you dreamt about your whole life, or the one that seemed perfectly timed for your current needs. Or even the one where you had a bunch of people internally recommending you! So how do you deal with occasional constant rejection? I’m going to divide up the types of rejections in categories so let’s get started!

Can’t break me if I break myself!!

• Level 1: The anonymous application

• Level 2: The solid application

• Level 3: The eggs in my basket application

• Level 4: Dealing with it

Level 1: The anonymous application

I define this by jobs that you apply via job portals (Indeed, Linkedin etc..) AND where you have absolutely no connections to the company. You might not even meet ALL the requirements.

Side note: I recommend you apply even if you don’t have “every” requirement listed, always worth trying.

So you see a job posting, you fill out the application and voilà! Should hear back from the in 2 weeks right? WRONG! The common experience is to never hear back from them other than the automated reply. From the perspective of the company, they receive HUNDREDS (if not thousands!) of applications for a single position. It is not humanely feasible to reply back to everyone individually. Even within indie companies, it would literally require them to hire someone permanent just to send rejection emails. That is a catastrophic waste of time. There’s even situation where studios are FORCED to create a public posting EVEN if they already have an internal candidate (weird bureaucratic reasons, won’t get into it here). It’s awful but that’s the behind the scenes.

Now this part may seem but here we go: No one owes you a reply, especially not a personalized one! I’ve sometimes noticed a sense of entitlement from a few people ‘I hate company XYZ, they never got back to me urgh’. I think that’s a useless and unfair attitude to have considering how time consuming it is for the person on the other side filtering through hundreds of applications. Yes it sucks to never hear back, yes you’re sick and tired of it and yes all those feelings are absolutely valid. But running a business profitably, which uh, we need to create said jobs, means that replying back to hundreds of people in a timely manner in regards to a rejection is not…efficient. What I suggest is to come to an understanding that rejection isn’t always all about you. It’s not personal and it is not an attack to you as a person or to your skills. There are SO many reasons that can lead to a rejection that are not within your control. What IS under your control though, is to get your CV/portfolios/website reviewed by experienced peers and mentors. Being good at your craft is one thing, but being able to present it optimally is a whole other beast! Anyways, my point here is to lower your expectations and not take it personally

On that note: I remember way back on twitter people were sharing their screenshots of their ‘rejection’ folder, I wish I had saved that thread somewhere but it was IMPRESSIVE. We all get rejected, I personally don’t keep track because…I just cant be bothered to! But if you want to keep track, by all means go ahead, it might even be cathartic!

Level 2:The solid application👌

This is the one where someone from within the company you are applying too, has vouched for you. You may not know the leadership, but someone within the department is definitely on your side. So you think ‘YES NOW IS MY CHANCE’!😈

And then silence yet again. Or you actually got a rejection notice this time, either way, it sucks. This one hurts even more than the previous jobs because you had a buddy vouching for you, you really wanted to work with them and everything they told you about the company seemed like a dream position. Your friend is there, and you are not.

That hurts a lot. But just like the first type of rejection, it is NOT all about you. There were probably multiple people vouching for their own friends! You weren’t the only one with ‘a leg up’. The internal policies of a company isn’t your business when you are an outsider. There’s also the possibility that…someone had more experience and skills than you. Even with someone vouching, it can only do so much.

What I’m trying to get across here is to let go that sense of entitlement AND the sense of security. Just because you ‘know someone’ doesn’t mean it’ll directly lead you to a gig. It is an advantage for sure, but not a guarantee. It’s great to apply to a gig with confidence, but always do so with a grain of salt. Nothing is automatically granted. Rejection is normal, it is a part of the process and it’s important to build strength to withstand i

Build that muscle!!!

Level 3: The eggs in my basket application🥚

This is the one where you are CERTAIN you are absolutely qualified for the job, YOU were approached by a company’s leadership to apply AND you know the people at the studio. You do the official interview, you even submit a tech test and then…they didn’t choose you. You knew everyone at that studio, you hang with them socially! The vibe check was good and they approached you!! WOAH WHAT HAPPENED!?

Well…ideally you knew this ahead of time but: You weren’t the only one being contacted. Especially in the indie world, our friends often become our colleagues, and the lines become greyed out. Yes you had a lot of eggs in the basket, but so did someone else. Yes you were close to them socially, but that doesn’t mean that your technical skills (as good as they are!) were the best option for the studio. In that moment, unfortunately, your friends had to make the best choice for their company, for their game. They were working with their leadership hat on, not the buddy hat. That doesn’t mean they don’t value their friendship, but they need to see what the game needs. And it ends there. Similar to the other two types of rejections, you are not ‘owed’ a gig and it’s important not to center yourself around it. In a situation where you personally know the leaders, I’d encourage you to ask why you were rejected. There might have been technical points that you were missing for the the style of game they were doing or it could simply just be that the other candidate was WAY more experienced. Whatever the case, in an intimate situation like this, I think it’s safe to ask for feedback.

Level 4: Dealing with it😨

So how do you deal with the emotional part of being rejected? There will be different stages and time definitely helps. The key thing here is that a rejection is NOT a reflection of your worth as a person. You might see your colleagues on social media announcing their acceptance for a position you applied for. That might hurt and feeling jealousy is a valid emotion!! Just remember that no one announces every rejection on the socialz, they tend to announce the positive stuff (yes me too!!). It is a totally biased platform and can be toxic to you at times. You could stay away from social media and/or mute certain accounts temporarily. Understand once again that it isn’t personal, take a break if you need, hell scream into a pillow! This totally sound like a boring and disappointing answer about how to overcome rejection… but that’s what it is. And as a freelancer, it will happen a lot, the rejection to acceptance ratio is wide and stark. Social media shows you a biased version of someone’s accomplishments so take it with a grain of salt.

Personal note : I value the people I work with more than the projects themselves. I don’t need to be working on my dream game, I need to be working with individuals that are kind, respectful and like-minded. What I’ve learnt over the last couple years is that not everyone shares those values. Some studios value working with celebrities, others want cheap labour over ethics, some use nepotism to hire those that are dear to them, and well so much more! It feels icky but… it’s a different set of beliefs. Those values and beliefs play a part in hiring someone and that’s not something you can control!

What you CAN control though, is taking care of yourself. If the feeling of rejection is overwhelming seek support and tools. Whether it be talking to a therapist, journaling, venting to a friend, seeking online help groups, whatever method it is, accepting the state of things and moving forward with your reality is the only way to survive. I also think that one advantage of being a freelancer is that you get rejected so often that you build a thick skin around it pretty fast heh!

Now the TLDR version of overcoming rejection:

• It’s not about you, don’t take rejection personally

• Admin work is overwhelming and impossible to reply to everyone

• Social media gives a biased view of someone’s success

• Keep at it, take care of yourself and shoot your shots!

That’s it! I know this wasn’t the most cheerful post but it’s important to acknowledge and talk about the shitty,boring and sad aspects of our career paths. I feel awkward now look at my cute cat!

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